Sign-In
Cart
Before You Help Them: Becoming the Kind of Discipler God Uses
Paperback
Publisher Price: $9.99
ISBN13: 9781966741268
Publisher: Life Over Coffee
Published: Jan 10 2026
Pages: 116
Weight: 0.32
Height: 0.24 Width: 5.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
Helping others is rarely as simple as giving advice or sharing Scripture. Many well-intended helpers enter conversations eager to fix problems, offer answers, or relieve discomfort-only to find their efforts fall flat or even cause harm. Before You Help Them calls helpers to pause, examine themselves, and prepare their hearts before stepping into another person's life.
This book confronts a foundational but often overlooked truth: you bring yourself into every helping relationship. Your theology, motives, fears, expectations, and unresolved struggles shape how you listen, speak, and respond. Without self-awareness and humility, even biblical truth can be misapplied.
Rick Thomas challenges readers to consider not just what they say when helping others, but why they say it. Are you driven by love for God and people-or by a need to be needed, affirmed, successful, or right? Do you listen patiently, or rush toward solutions to ease your own discomfort? These questions matter because they determine whether help is redemptive or controlling.
Before You Help Them provides a biblical framework for preparing the heart of the helper. It explains how fear of man, self-righteousness, pride, impatience, and self-reliance quietly undermine care. Readers learn why listening is often more important than speaking, why understanding must precede instruction, and why change cannot be forced.
A central emphasis of the book is the helper's dependence on God. Effective care flows from a posture of humility, prayer, and Spirit-dependence-not from confidence in technique or experience. When helpers understand their own need for grace, they are better equipped to extend grace to others.
The book also clarifies the difference between helping and fixing. Helping walks with people; fixing manages outcomes. Helping invites repentance and faith; fixing applies pressure. This distinction reshapes counseling, discipleship, parenting, and leadership relationships.
This resource is especially valuable for counselors, pastors, small-group leaders, disciplers, parents, and anyone regularly involved in spiritual care. It is also helpful for those who feel discouraged or ineffective in helping roles and want to grow in wisdom, patience, and biblical clarity.
Before You Help Them does not diminish the importance of truth. It strengthens it by putting truth in the hands of humble servants rather than anxious problem-solvers. When helpers tend to their own hearts first, care becomes more relational, more discerning, and more fruitful.
This book equips readers to help others wisely-by starting with themselves, submitting to God's work, and trusting Him with the outcome.
Life Over Coffee Publishers
Also from
Thomas, Rick
When Marriage Breaks: Tracing the Steps, the Fallout, and the Way Back from Adultery
Thomas, Rick
Paperback
The Fringe Minority: A Report from the Trenches of the Canadian Freedom Movement
Thomas, Rick
Paperback
Also in
Christian Living
A Child Shall Lead Them PB: Martin Luther King Jr., Young People, and the Movement
Burrow, Rufus
Paperback
Don't Mom Alone: Growing the Relationships You Need to Be the Mom You Want to Be
Macfadyen, Heather
Paperback
Suffering and the Search for Meaning: Contemporary Responses to the Problem of Pain
Rice, Richard
Paperback
The King Is Coming Bible Study Guide Plus Streaming Video: It's Time to Prepare for the Return of Christ
Bevere, John
Paperback
18 Days in Heaven: I Left My Body. I Met Jesus. What He Told Me Will Alter Your Eternity
Poirot, Gabe
Paperback
When God Doesn't Fix It: Lessons You Never Wanted to Learn, Truths You Can't Live Without
Story, Laura
Paperback
La Mujer Emocionalmente Sana: Cómo Dejar de Aparentar Que Todo Marcha Bien Y Experimentar Un Cambio de Vida = Emotionally Healthy Woman
Scazzero, Geri
Scazzero, Peter
Paperback
The Way of the Wildflower: Gospel Meditations to Unburden Your Anxious Soul
Simons, Ruth Chou
Hardcover
Revelation: An Insightful Chapter-by-Chapter Journey Through the Book of Revelation
Dewaard, Erica
Paperback
The Elijah Mandate: A Call to Courageous Faith in a Hostile World
Piflaks, Tolik
Tsarfati, Amir
Paperback
Every Thought Captive Bible Study Guide Plus Streaming Video: How Renewing Your Mind Can Change Your Life
Idleman, Kyle
Paperback
100 Bible Verses That Made America: Defining Moments That Shaped Our Enduring Foundation of Faith
Morgan, Robert J.
Paperback
Demasiado Bendecida Para Estar Estresada: Devocionales de 3 Minutos Para Mujeres
Coty, Debora M.
Paperback
Jesus & Your Mental Health: Linking God's Word and Modern Science to Find Peace about Mental Health
Maxwell Lmft, Rebecca
Paperback
The Case for Christ: A Journalist's Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus
Strobel, Lee
Paperback
Holy Health: Habits and Rhythms to Heal Your Body and Transform Your Life
Roethlingshoefer, Justin
Hardcover
The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery: Connecting Neuroscience and Faith to Radically Transform Your Life
Warren MD W. Lee
Hardcover
Braving the Truth: Essential Essays for Reckoning with and Reimagining Faith
Bessey, Sarah
Evans, Rachel Held
Hardcover
Magnifica Humanitas (Magnificent Humanity): On Safeguarding the Human Person in the Time of Artificial Intelligence
Leo XIV, Pope
Hardcover
A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, Large Print Edition: Discovering God's Love for You (Large Print Edition)
Keller, W. Phillip
Paperback
Where Do We Go from Here? Bible Study Guide: How Tomorrow's Prophecies Foreshadow Today's Problems
Jeremiah, David
Paperback
Revelation: An Insightful Chapter-by-Chapter Journey Through the Book of Revelation
Dewaard, Erica
Hardcover
The Biblio Diet: Live Long, Master Metabolism, Reduce Pain, Fight Depression, and Conquer Cancer with Healing Secrets from the Bible
Rubin, Jordan
Axe, Josh
Hardcover
Winning the War in Your Mind Workbook: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life
Groeschel, Craig
Paperback
Capable: How to Teach Your Kids the Strengths, Skills, and Strategies to Build Resilience
Goff, Sissy, Lpc-Mhsp
Thomas, David
Hardcover
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World
Comer, John Mark
Hardcover
Praying the Names of God for 52 Weeks, Expanded Edition: A Year-Long Bible Study
Spangler, Ann
Paperback
The Meaning of Marriage Bible Study Guide Plus Streaming Video, Updated Edition: A Vision for Married and Single People
Keller, Kathy
Keller, Timothy
Paperback
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Women: Seven Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Marry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
Minute by Minute: A Pivotal Question from God, My Response, and the Remarkable Miracles That Followed
Moody, Joanne
Paperback
Aimed & Ready: Your PULLBACK is a setup for your COMEBACK! - Preparing Believers for Kingdom Purpose
Smit, Nico
Paperback
The Faith to Flourish: God's Design for a Rooted, Resilient, and Fruitful Life
Caine, Christine
Paperback
Friendship in the Lord: A Catholic Classic on Holy Friendship and Life in Christ a Christian Classic
Hinnebusch Op, Paul
Paperback
Heaven Is for Real: A Little Boy's Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back
Burpo, Todd
Paperback
Liturgies for Resisting Empire: Seeking Community, Belonging, and Peace in a Dehumanizing World
Armas, Kat
Paperback
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men: Seven Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Marry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
The Love Language(tm) That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It
Chapman, Gary
Parrott, Leslie
Parrott, Les
Paperback
Slaying the Giants in Your Life: You Can Win the Battle and Live Victoriously
Jeremiah, David
Paperback
The Case for Christ: A Journalist's Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus
Strobel, Lee
Paperback
Backslide: Reclaiming a Faith and a Nation After the Christian Turn Against Democracy
Jones, Robert P.
Hardcover
Twelve Ordinary Men: How the Master Shaped His Disciples for Greatness, and What He Wants to Do with You
MacArthur, John F.
Paperback
Los Destinado al ��xito: C��mo alcanzar tus mejores sue��os
Gebel, Dante
Paperback
Pray Like a Champion Today: Sacred Stories from the Sidelines of Notre Dame Football
Wills, Nate, CSC
Paperback
The Official Study Guide to I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist
Geisler, Norman L.
Jimenez, Jason
Paperback
Magnifica Humanitas: On Safeguarding the Human Person in the Time of Artificial Intelligence
Pope Leo XIV, XIV
Paperback
Bloodline Deliverance Study Manual: How to Set Yourself, Your Family, and Your Bloodline Free from Demons and Curses
Brewer, Andrea
Brewer, Mike
Paperback
Bible Women: All Their Words and Why They Matter: Expanded Second Edition
Freeman, Lindsay Hardin
Paperback
Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
Thomas, Gary
Paperback
Love Thy Stranger: How the Teachings of Jesus Transformed the Moral Conscience of the West
Ehrman, Bart D.
Hardcover
Uncluttered Faith: Own Less, Love More, and Make an Impact in Your World: A Minimalist Book
Becker, Joshua
Hardcover
Parables: The Mysteries of God's Kingdom Revealed Through the Stories Jesus Told
MacArthur, John F.
Paperback
Help Is Here: Finding Fresh Strength and Purpose in the Power of the Holy Spirit
Lucado, Max
Paperback
Stop Living Paycheck to Paycheck: The Proven Path to Break Free from Debt, Build Real Wealth, and Live Free on Any Income
O'Neal, Anthony
Hardcover
You Got This: 90 Devotions to Equip and Empower Hardworking Women (a 90-Day Devotional) - The Perfect Gift for Christian Women
Horvath, Melissa
Hardcover
The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn't Come Easy
Cook, Alison
Paperback
No More Boring Bible Study: Why Taking Scripture Seriously Is Easier and More Exciting Than You Think
Womack, Faith
Paperback
When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man
Welch, Edward T.
Paperback
American Caesar: How Theocrats and Tech Lords Are Turning America Into a Monarchy
Onishi, Bradley B.
Hardcover
Imagine Heaven: Near-Death Experiences, God's Promises, and the Exhilarating Future That Awaits You
Burke, John
Paperback
The Man the Moment Demands: Master the 10 Characteristics of the Comprehensive Man
Wilson, Jason
Paperback
NIV, Value Thinline Bible, Large Print, Imitation Leather, Brown (Large Print Edition)
Zondervan
Hardcover
The Last Book: What You Need to Know About Revelation, the Rapture, and the End Times
Kaddis, James
Hardcover
A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy
Rosenau, Douglas E.
Paperback
Pagan Threat: Confronting America's Godless Uprising with a Foreword by Charlie Kirk
Miles, Lucas
Hardcover
The Road Less Triggered: Turning Conflict Into Connection with a Single Choice
Flanagan, Kelly
Paperback