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The Merchant Of Mar-a-Lago: A bigly improved version of the Merchant of Venice
Paperback
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Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Dec 6 2024
Pages: 160
Weight: 0.49
Height: 0.34 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
So, folks, let me tell you about the greatest, most tremendous story ever told - way better than Shakespeare, believe me. It's about Venice, a beautiful city, the best city, but it needs some serious help, some big league changes. This guy Antonio, a very successful merchant, the most successful, has these big, beautiful ships, the best ships, but he needs a small loan, a very small loan, of a million ducats or something. He goes to see Shylock, this character, a real piece of work, who wants a pound of flesh as collateral. Can you believe that? A pound of flesh! Sad!
Meanwhile, you have this incredible woman, Portia. Very smart, very beautiful. All these losers are after her, these low-energy suitors, but she's got this genius system to weed them out. Then there's Bassanio, a real winner. He wants Portia, and he's going to show everyone how to get what you want, believe me.
Things get very complicated, very unfair. Antonio's ships disappear, there's fake news everywhere, worse than CNN, and a total witch hunt, a very unfair witch hunt. We build walls, big beautiful walls, and there's even a masquerade at Mar-a-Lago, the best masquerade. It's tremendous. You won't believe the rings, folks, the rings of power, very powerful. And Shylock's daughter, she's something else. A total disaster. But we turn it around, folks. We always turn it around. We make Venice great again, the greatest. It's a very happy ending, the happiest, everybody agrees. You'll love it, everybody loves it. The best book, everyone agrees. Everybody's saying so.
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