Sign-In
Cart
Understanding Lying and Stealing in Foster Children: Moving from Survival Behaviors to Secure Attachment
Paperback
General ParentingGeneral PsychologyPregnancy & Adoption
Publisher: Juan Rodriguez Aceves
Published: Oct 18 2025
Pages: 188
Weight: 0.57
Height: 0.40 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
**When foster children lie and steal, they're not being defiant-they're trying to survive.**
If you're a foster parent dealing with lying and stealing behaviors, you're not alone, and you're not failing.
These challenging behaviors are actually survival strategies that helped children navigate impossible situations before they came
Drawing from more than a decade of fostering over 100 children, Juan Rodriguez Aceves offers a compassionate, trauma-informed
approach that transforms how you understand and respond to these behaviors. Instead of seeing lying and stealing as problems to
punish, you'll learn to recognize them as communication about what children need to feel safe and secure.
This practical guide provides:
Clear explanations of how trauma affects children's brains and behaviors
Specific strategies for responding with understanding rather than punishment
Step-by-step approaches to building trust and encouraging honesty
Real stories of children who moved from survival behaviors to secure attachment
Tools for creating safety that make lying and stealing unnecessary
Written in an accessible, conversational style, this book speaks directly to foster parents who want to see past behaviors to the hurt
underneath. You'll discover that with patience, consistency, and the right understanding, children can learn that survival mode is no
longer necessary.
**Healing is possible. Hope is real. And you are exactly the right person to help make it happen.**
Also from
Aceves, Juan Rodrigez
Bad Hombres; From Stolen Lands to Stolen Lives - How America Criminalized Being Mexican
Aceves, Juan Rodrigez
Paperback
Final Words; Finding the Right Goodbye for Every Loved
Aceves, Juan Rodriguez
Aceves, Juan Rodrigez
Paperback
Ugly Americans: How Political Arrogance Turned Global Goodwill into Resentment
Aceves, Juan Rodrigez
Paperback
When Mayor Tragedy Strikes; A Foster Parent's Guide to Navigating Tragedy, Investigation, and Healing
Aceves, Juan Rodrigez
Aceves, Juan Rodriguez
Paperback
Also in
Pregnancy & Adoption
First-Time Fostering: A Practical Guide for Supporting Kids in Foster Care
Laura the Foster Parent Partner
Paperback
Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work
Gobbel, Robyn
Paperback
Daughters of the Bamboo Grove: From China to America, a True Story of Abduction, Adoption, and Separated Twins
Demick, Barbara
Paperback
Essential FASD Supports: Understanding and Supporting People with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders
Sheets, Nate
Paperback
The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family
Cross, David R.
Sunshine, Wendy Lyons
Purvis, Karyn B.
Paperback
Raising Kids and Teens with Fasd: Advice and Strategies to Help Your Family to Thrive!
Clark, Barb
Paperback
The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment
Purvis, Karyn
Qualls, Lisa C.
Paperback
The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe V. Wade
Fessler, Ann
Paperback
This Little Fire of Mine: How Flickers of Doubt Can Spark a Bolder, Brighter Faith
Mariah, Kendall
Paperback
The Complete Book of Baby Names: The Most Names, Most Lists, Most Help to Find the Best Name
Bolton, Lesley
Paperback
Breaking the Patterns That Break You: Healing from the Pain of Your Past and Finding Real Hope That Lasts
Petersen, Tori Hope
Paperback
Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood
Sisson, Gretchen
Paperback
Baby's Book The First Five Years: Memory Keeper First Time Parent As You Grow Baby Shower Gift
Placate, Holly
Paperback
They Cage the Animals at Night: The True Story of an Abandoned Child's Struggle for Emotional Survival
Burch, Jennings Michael
Paperback
Children Like Us: A Métis Woman's Memoir of Family, Identity and Walking Herself Home
Penner, Brittany
Paperback
Runs in the Family: An Incredible True Story of Football, Fatherhood, and Belonging
Spain, Sarah
McCullough, Deland
Hardcover
Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood
Sisson, Gretchen
Hardcover
Dancing with a Porcupine: Parenting wounded children without losing your self
Owens, Jennie Lynn
Paperback
Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent
Melina, Lois Ruskai
Paperback
Love Does Not Conquer All: And Other Surprising Lessons I Learned as a Foster Dad to More Than 40 Kids
Mutabazi, Peter
Paperback
Just Hold Her: A Foster Mother's Memoir of Medicine, Caregiving, and the Long Nights Together
Wright, Judy
Paperback
Between the Mountain and the Sky: A Mother's Story of Love, Loss, Healing, and Hope
Doyne, Maggie
Paperback
Broken: Transforming Child Protective Services--Notes of a Former Caseworker
Pryce, Jessica
Paperback
First-Time Mom's Baby Journal: Create a Keepsake, Record Bonding Experiences, and Stay Organized
Grossen, Aubrey
Paperback
Before and After: The Incredible Real-Life Stories of Orphans Who Survived the Tennessee Children's Home Society
Christie, Judy
Wingate, Lisa
Paperback
Orphan Trains: The Story of Charles Loring Brace and the Children He Saved and Failed
O'Connor, Stephen
Paperback
Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies
Vander Vliet Ranyard, Kelsey
Easterly, Sara
Holden, Lori
Hardcover
Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith
Qualls, Lisa C.
Corkum, Melissa
Paperback
Irish Baby Names: What They Mean and How to Pronounce Them
Drea, Gavin
O'Connor, Féilim
Buckly, Morgan
Hardcover
One from Each Column: My 46-Year Trek from Abusive Childhood to Elusive Motherhood
Tolman, Jodi Mitchel
Paperback
The Name Book: Over 10,000 Names--Their Meanings, Origins, and Spiritual Significance
Astoria, Dorothy
Paperback
Twelve Stripes Deep: How Infertility & Other Suffering Delivered My Greatest Joys
Bruno, Mary
Paperback
No One to Miss Me: Can Cathy Help Troubled Lily Sort Her Life Out and Piece Together the Truth
Glass, Cathy
Paperback
Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies
Holden, Lori
Easterly, Sara
Ranyard, Kelsey Vander Vliet
Paperback
Just Hold Her: A Foster Mother's Memoir of Medicine, Caregiving, and the Long Nights Together
Wright, Judy
Hardcover
Somewhere Out There, There's More: My Experience of Adoption, My Search for Understanding and the Twist That Changed Everything
Huckaby, Ronna Quimby
Paperback
Cut: The True Story of an Abandoned, Abused Little Girl Who Was Desperate to Be Part of a Family
Glass, Cathy
Paperback
Looking for Lost Bird: A Jewish Woman Discovers Her Navajo Roots
Melanson, Yvette
Safran, Claire
Paperback
The Baby Scoop Era: Unwed Mothers, Infant Adoption and Forced Surrender
Wilson-Buterbaugh, Karen
Paperback
Lower the Bar and Hide the Sharpies: A Survival Guide for New Foster and Adoptive Families
Egbert, Katie
Paperback
Beneath the Mask: For Teen Adoptees: Teens and Young Adults Share Their Stories
Center for Adoption Support and Educatio
Paperback
How did you find me...after all these years?: A Family Memoir
Vinar, Dennis Eugene
Vinar, Karen Kathleen
Voxland, Jean and Andrew
Paperback
Foster the Family: Encouragement, Hope, and Practical Help for the Christian Foster Parent
Finn, Jamie C.
Paperback
13 Beams of Moonlight: Gentle Guidance for Families and Communities Living with FASD
Evensen, Deb
Paperback
Waifs, Foundlings, and Half-Orphans: Searching for America's Orphan Train Riders
Johnson, Mary Ellen
Paperback
Best Grandmother Names Ever: Choose Your Perfect Grandma Name, from Bubbe and Gigi to Memaw and Nana
Livingstone, Cathy
Paperback
Broken: Transforming Child Protective Services--Notes of a Former Caseworker
Pryce, Jessica
Hardcover
Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love
Black, Justin
Black, Alexis
Paperback
Sons of Other Fathers: A Memoir of Adoption, Identity, and the Relationships That Define Family
Parks, Rick
Paperback
A Terrible Secret: Scared for Her Safety, Tilly Places Herself Into Foster Care. a Shocking True Story.
Glass, Cathy
Paperback
Reframing Foster Care: Filtering Your Foster Parenting Journey Through the Lens of the Gospel
Johnson, Jason
Paperback
The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforseen Challenges of Adoption
Foli, Karen J.
Thompson, John R.
Paperback
Raising Capable Kids: The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of Their Child's Label or Challenge
Winking, Deborah
Paperback
The Spirit of Parenting: Fifty Thoughts on Loving Your Child (and Everyone Else, Including Yourself)
Bradley, Spirit Donna
Paperback
Tiny Prisoners: Two Siblings Trapped in a World of Abuse. One Woman Determined to Free Them
Hartley, Maggie
Paperback
When Love Is Not Enough: Parenting a Child with Trauma, Reactive Attachment Disorder and Borderline Traits
Koehler, Rj
Paperback
There Are More Like Me: Search, Reunion, and Synchronicity in Adoption
Henderson, Douglas B.
Paperback
In Reunion: Transnational Korean Adoptees and the Communication of Family
Docan-Morgan, Sara
Paperback
Normal Schmormal: My Occasionally Helpful Guide to Parenting Kids with Special Needs
Blaker, Ashley
Paperback
The Girl with Three Birthdays: An Adopted Daughter's Memoir of Tiaras, Tough Truths, and Tall Tales
Eddington, Patti
Paperback
Way Beyond: A Birth Mother's Journey Through Teenage Pregnancy, Adoption, and Faith
Lee, Linda Ruth
Paperback
Parenting with Theraplay(r): Understanding Attachment and How to Nurture a Closer Relationship with Your Child
Rodwell, Helen
Norris, Vivien
Paperback
What White Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption: An Adoptee's Perspective on Its History, Nuances, and Practices
Guida-Richards, Melissa
Paperback
Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Traumatized Children
Hughes, Daniel A.
Paperback
Inspired Baby Names from Around the World: 6,000 International Names and the Meaning Behind Them
Shane, Neala
Paperback
Relinquished.: A mother's choice and my 30 year journey to find my birth family
Yaffe, Robert J.
Paperback
Those Three Words: A Birth Mother's Story of Choice, Chance, and Motherhood
Bauer, Christine
Paperback