Sign-In
Cart
Crypto Cuck: How Dad Lost His SOL
Paperback
Series: Rejected Children's Books (Funny Books for Adults)
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Nov 18 2025
Pages: 42
Weight: 0.27
Height: 0.11 Width: 8.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
This is the tragicomic tale of one man, one meme coin, and one spectacularly catastrophic financial faceplant.
Written like a children's book. Drawn like a Saturday morning cartoon. But absolutely, unequivocally not for kids.
Crypto Cuck follows a wide-eyed, dead-inside dad who gambles the family nest egg on magic internet money and watches his entire life unravel... one poor decision and rug pull at a time. It's the feel-bad book of the year... and you're going to laugh your ass off reading it.
This cautionary tale of coin-flipping, meme-chasing, and financial self-immolation is perfect for anyone who's:
- Ever lost money in crypto (so... all of us)
- Been ghosted by a startup, a spouse, or a Solana wallet
- Ditched their job chasing internet riches
- Or just enjoys watching other people make worse life choices than them
This book is for the crypto bro who still says WAGMI with a straight face, wears a hoodie to weddings, and keeps trying to pay for lunch in ETH even though everyone just wants to split the check on Venmo. He's got 14 browser tabs open, all charts, none profitable. He once took out a personal loan to ape into a frog coin with zero utility and thinks financial literacy means memorizing his seed phrase. He doesn't read books, he reads tweets. But this one? He might actually finish.
Inside, you'll meet:
- Dad, the dreamer-turned-degen who YOLOs the family savings into JPEGs and vapor
- Mom, who sees the Lambo dreams for what they are and runs off with a developer named Rajjeet
- Junior, who learns the blockchain, exacts revenge, and somehow turns it all around
It's a story of greed, delusion, financial ruin, betrayal, and redemption. Told in delightful rhyming couplets and illustrated in a style suspiciously similar to the books that used to teach you the ABCs... before you had to learn about APR, APY, and the soul-crushing reality of margin calls.
Crypto Cuck is a hilarious, cynical, brutally honest parody of modern digital finance culture. It's like reading a bedtime story, if bedtime was 3 a.m., you're sweaty, your wife left, and you just mortgaged your house for a coin called Buttfart Inu.
Give this book to:- The crypto bro in your life (he needs it)
- Your ex who swore Dogecoin was gonna change everything
- Your friend who won't shut up about NFTs
- Your dad, so he never tries this crap
- Or yourself, as a harsh, but hysterical... mirror
Great for birthdays, Christmas, divorces, or just a good old-fashioned intervention. Comes with zero financial advice, 100% schadenfreude, and absolutely no do-overs (just like real crypto).
If you've ever wondered, Could this be the dumbest book I've ever laughed out loud at?. Yes it could.
Buy Crypto Cuck. Give the gift of laughter at someone else's expense. It's cheaper than therapy and less volatile than Solana.
Also from
Gosse, Brad
Redneck Nursery Rhymes: Florida Man Stan Presents: Jack and Jill
Gosse, Brad
Giambra, Hunter
Paperback
Also in
Humor
I Can't Believe I Did That: The Game That Gives You Points for Sharing Awkward, Awesome, and Unforgettable Memories: Card Games
Katcher, Neil
Nadelberg, David
Other
The Science Magpie: Fascinating Facts, Stories, Poems, Diagrams and Jokes Plucked from Science
Flynn, Simon
Paperback
Fixing Flamingos: And Other Solutions to the World's Least Pressing Problems
Rea, Brian
Brown, Lucienne
Paperback
How to Be a Cat: (Cat Books for Kids, Cat Gifts for Kids, Cat Picture Book)
Swerling, Lisa
Lazar, Ralph
Hardcover
Peculiar Questions and Practical Answers: A Little Book of Whimsy and Wisdom from the Files of the New York Public Library
New York Public Library
Hardcover
How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept Me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself
Lawson, Jenny
Hardcover
Bake It Off: An Unofficial Taylor Swift-Inspired Cookbook for Every Era, from Breakfast to Midnights
Smith, Lindsey
Hardcover
Big Fan: Two Friends, 82,490 Miles, and the Wild, Wonderful Sports We Love
Schur, Michael
Posnanski, Joe
Hardcover
We Are the World (Cup): A Personal History of the World's Greatest Sporting Event
Bennett, Roger
Hardcover
Black Out Loud: The Revolutionary History of Black Comedy from Vaudeville to '90s Sitcoms
Bennett, Geoff
Hardcover
How to Grow Up Without Becoming a Grown-Up: Big Lessons from Little Kids
Shapiro-Barnum, Julian
Hardcover
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels in One Outrageous Volume
Adams, Douglas
Paperback
There Are Moms Way Worse Than You: Irrefutable Proof That You Are Indeed a Fantastic Parent
Boozan, Glenn
Hardcover
The New Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations
Borgenicht, David
Piven, Joshua
Hardcover
How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives
Auburn, Zachary
Paperback
Pardon My Book: Ten Years of the Best (and Worst) in Sports from Pardon My Take
Big Cat
Commenter, Pft
Hardcover
Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die (New York Times Bestseller)
Condo, Messie
Hardcover